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What Moves Me – Musings on Body Positivity

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Revisiting this little blog of mine, coming back to this place that is so special to me has brought up so many emotions. For one, posing in front of a camera hasn’t come as easily as it once did. I’m out of practice and it feels just a tad bit uncomfortable. This is something i’m excited about, and i’m excited to learn to overcome again.

But second, it has renewed a feeling I had when I started this blog: body image discomfort is something to push through. Thick thighs are beautiful and should be celebrated. Patchy skin and pimples on faces are a part of life.

You may notice (or, hell, you may not) that I have a pimple on the side of my mouth in these photos. It comes from picking at my face and it’s not cute but you know what, pushing through the discomfort of not wanting to post photos because of it, moves me. It makes me feel empowered that i’ve hit publish regardless of that slight twinge of insecurity that I had, and pushed through.

Body positivity moves me. Helping others learn to love and accept their figures moves me. And far less seriously, skirts like this one with flow and movement help with the above – this one is good, ya’ll.

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Andrew Marc Jacket (old, similar here), Private Party Shirt, J.Crew Necklace (old, here on Poshmark), GAP Skirt c/o (similar here), Steven by Steve Madden Wedges (so old it’s embarrassing, but love these similar ones)

Thank you to Banana Republic for sponsoring this post.

Where I’ve Been, and Thoughts of Gratitude

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Hello world!

This is my first time writing a post in nearly 2 years, and i’m terrified, excited, and hope you’re all eager to continue to join me on this journey.

I imagine everyone still following along is wondering where i’ve been. Well, since my last post i’ve: met a wonderful boy, moved in with him, had a scary medical experience (more on that below), gotten engaged and married. Phew! It’s been quite the 24 months.

I’d like to start out slow, putting one post in front of the other, seeing how I feel. This is a space i’ve loved for nearly five years, and i’m excited to be back to it, and to you.

But, before that, I want to share some words that I wrote just weeks after the most terrifying medical experience of my young life. Not to scare anyone or garner sympathy, but mostly because I want to remember my mindset and my thinking during that time. The words below are entirely unedited. They were composed during a time of recovery, when all I craved was to create. I never published these words or have shared them with anyone, until now.

I’m back ladies. Let’s do this.
_______

Date: May 29, 2015

Today, I felt the urge to create. To write, to publish, to share and to get my feelings out on paper. Mostly, I felt the strongest urge to come back to this space, to share with you where life has taken me in the last year.

The biggest change is the one i’m currently in. I write now from inside a home, on a Friday at 1030am. I write with a terrible headache, with a stomach full of nerves and fear in my heart. But all the while, a great fullness to be typing and breathing and living.
3 weeks ago I suffered an intracerebral hemorrhage. I woke up in the middle of the night with a head pain unlike any i’d ever experienced. My loving, caring boyfriend rushed me to the ER and life changed forever. I was immediately admitted to the hospital and so began weeks of pain, recovery, doctors and terror. As one that has never so much as suffered from a broken bone, this level of medical intervention was, to say the least, terrifying.
I sit now 2 weeks into recovery, out of the hospital. I am walking, I am talking, I am thinking, I am loving and I am breathing. For all of these things I am eternally grateful. I will work again, I will travel again, I will get my day-to-day life back again, in due time.
For that I am eternally grateful.
For this space, I am grateful.
For the ability to create, I am grateful.
For you, I am grateful.

This space has given me so much in the last 3 years. It’s a place that allows me to feel ownership over something, to share what I wish to share with the world, to grow a passion i’ve always had, to find people like me, to relate. Thank you for that, thank you for being here.

ThePearShape Turns 2

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A couldn’t imagine a more appropriate picture: how I blog. Naturally, no makeup, in yoga pants. #reallife

Today is our birthday! It’s kind of crazy how much has happened not only in the two years since I started this little blog of mine, but even in the last 12 months. If you read back to our 1st birthday post, you’ll know that I was living in SF by that time and I was just about to begin a new job. When I think about where my life is now, I don’t kid when I say that 90% of it is a direct result of ThePearShape. My closest friends, my roommate, 90% of my social activity in the city are all a direct result of the amazing people i’ve been connected to through blogging. I am so in love with this community, the outlet this space provides to not only share tips with all of you, but document the major moments in my own life.

Thank you for coming back here each day. Thank you for your endless emails, kind comments and unwavering support. It isn’t easy to put yourself on the internet and willingly discuss body issues. But your generosity has made it an absolute pleasure. I’m forever grateful.

A Girls’ Weekend in Napa

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Wearing super old Forever 21 dress (similar here or here), Prada sunglasses, Sam Edelman sandals

This last weekend was one for the record books. Specifically, Saturday was one of the greatest days. A few girlfriends and I had been trying to plan a day trip out of the city for quite a while. Given that the two ladies i’d be traveling with worked in the wine industry, Napa felt more than appropriate. We left San Francisco at around 9am and made our way slowly through Bouchon bakery in Yountville, Olivier in St. Helena and Farmstead for lunch, into some of the most gorgeous wineries I had ever seen.

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We visited Swanson, Raymond and Chandon wineries and couldn’t help but snap a few pictures amidst the stunning vines.

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I have the most beautiful friends and it makes me so happy to capture their pure joy in photos.

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Cheers to many more girls’ weekends this Summer!

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